Analysis by Amanda Hsieh
It is human nature to seek love and companionship. People who have loving relationships with others are perceived to be having fruitful lives. However, many people fail to recognize that love should be two-sided. Therefore, constantly seek the affection of others instead of a healthy, stable relationship. Ultimately, one has the ability to begin feeling as they are more important when they start getting more attention from others. Constantly seeking the affection of someone can severely affect the actions and character of a person. As depicted in the fairy tale The Little Mermaid by the Danish author Hans Christian Andersen, the urge to seek the attention of others is ingrained in human character. Modern dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble accentuated this trend. Desiring the affection of another can make someone short-sighted of their self-worth and character.
The constant desire of people to get affection from others blinds them because they fail to recognize their self-worth and end up thinking that other people are superior to them. I argue that modern dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble end up doing more harm than good to young people. I also opine that young people should understand the harmful effects of modern dating apps and try to focus on becoming successful in their lives by building social and life skills.
Dating apps allow people to connect with others who share similar views. They are a product of modern technology and help users build conversational skills. People can check the image and personal information of their potential partners and try to connect with them. Ultimately, this gives individuals the freedom to not physically meet their partners before starting a relationship. Although convenient, these online socializing apps leave people in more harm than good.
Love can make a person blind and lose their character. It also has the ability to impact specific actions that people normally would not do. Constant desire for attention, although looking for reassurance and affection, ironically is what is harms them in the end.
Seeking the affection of others will make it difficult for people to understand what real love is. Love is a unique feeling that can be understood only by people who experience it. Many people get attracted to another person and try to gain their attention by whatever means. When the other person does not reciprocate, they start feeling bad about themselves. According to Eagleson, a writer for Seventeen magazine, when people are unsure what real love is, they might get a dangerous substitute (116). I agree with Eagleson that the inability to understand true love and a desire for getting the affection of others can affect their actions. In the fairytale ‘The Little Mermaid’, the mermaid glances at the handsome prince and gets enchanted. In the tale, the author describes her enchantment with the prince by saying, “It grew late, but the little mermaid was unable to take her eyes off the ship and the handsome prince” (Andersen 4). She fails to realize that her attraction towards the prince is not true love. From that time, she constantly seeks the affection of the prince without any successful results. Thus, the little mermaid’s growing affections for the Prince ultimately impacts her actions to lose part of her identity.
Dating apps make it difficult to understand true love and nudge them to seek the attention of others. Young people crave the number of messages, likes, and contact requests they receive on dating apps end up constantly desiring the attention of others. When they do not get the desired response, they feel unhappy and think that they are not getting true love.
The perceptions formed by people regarding their partners are not based on reality. But they are mostly positive illusions (Swami and Furnham). People think that the persons they are interested in are more attractive than themselves. As a result, they start loving others more than they love them. Such kinds of feelings are mentally and emotionally draining on the minds of people. Their self-esteem also gets hurt. When they continue seeking the affection of people they love, they ultimately start questioning, “is it me?”. The little mermaid in the fairytale thinks that the handsome prince is superior to her and starts longing for love. She sacrifices her tail and voice so that she could be together with the prince. When the prince fails to recognize her love and decides to marry another, she is heartbroken and turns into sea foam.
The emotional unavailability of a partner whom a person loves can be frustrating (Sansui). People who use dating apps in search of casual relationships end up finding that their partners are emotionally unavailable. Even when people do not get the desired attention on dating apps, it impacts their self-esteem. Men who use dating apps experience lower self-esteem than women (“Men Have Highest Risk for Low Self-Esteem”). Many young people do not even use dating apps to look for true relationships. Rather than looking for serious long-term relationships, young people even say that they use dating apps to shop for partners.
The desire for affection makes human beings do things that a sane and honest person would never do in a life time. In their quest for affection from others, people start cheating others. They start pretending to be somebody they are not. People who try to deceive others might ultimately end up cheating and hurting themselves. When the real identities of cheaters are ultimately revealed, their partners will start neglecting or completely abandoning them. Such consequences could prove to be devastating to the self-worth of a person. In the fairytale written by the Danish author Hans Christian Andersen, the little mermaid falls in love with a mortal prince. Her love towards the prince blindly let her sell a part of herself to become a mortal woman. She sacrifices a piece of her identity in order to in the sights of the Prince. Her deception ultimately hurts her. She could never be a mortal woman and fails to get the desired affection from the handsome prince. By the end of the story, the little mermaid ends up giving up her life as her blind love stops her from killing the prince.
Rather than improving the self-worth of a person, dating apps merely boost their self-image. Since a better sense of one’s self-image can be gratifying, people start deceiving their contacts on dating apps. People who rely on dating apps to find partners fail to develop real social skills that will help build a long-term relationship. They start catfishing and pretend to be somebody else (Koch). People post images of others, post wrong information about their education/jobs, and even send messages copied from the internet. There are even some dangerous side-effects of catfishing when children hide their true identities and start interacting with adults.
Poet Virgil once said“love conquers all”. However, the modern generation fails to understand what true love is. They end up seeking the affection of others and think that they are looking for love. This constant quest for the affection of others will only end up hurting a person and start behaving to be somebody else. Rather than helping the younger people build true relationships, modern dating apps only end up harming people. Simply put, they do more harm than good. People should recognize that seeking the affection of another can mold one almost where they can become completely unrecognizable. Similarly, the mermaid in Hans Christian Andersen’s tale sacrifices a part of her soul, body, and family in order to blindly follow the love she spotted with the Prince. Ultimately, she loses her life in her blind desire for love from the Prince as the Sea Witch takes her life. Twenty-First century dating, although up with the technology of today, has it’s limitations; current generations utilizing dating apps are encouraging anti-social behavior and limiting one’s learning skills. The idea that love makes one blind is a timeless message that represents love can influence identity, actions, and character.
Works Cited
Andersen, Hans C. The Little Mermaid. C.A. Reitzel, 1837.
Eagleson, Holly. “The Truth about Love.” Seventeen, vol. 71, no. 2, Feb. 2012, pp. 116–119. EBSCO Host,
search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=f5h&AN=71840670&site=edslive&scope=site. Accessed 28 Apr. 2021.
Koch, Cory. “Opinion: Dating Apps like Tinder Cause More Harm than Good for College Students.” The Reveille, 14 Feb. 2020, www.lsureveille.com/opinion/opinion-dating-apps-like-tinder-cause-more-harm-than-good-for-college-students/article_85b9e218-4f76-11ea-bec8-a3f5674dd70a.html.
“Men Have Highest Risk for Low Self-Esteem While Using Tinder, UNT Study Finds.” University Brand Strategy and Communications News, 5 Aug. 2016, news.unt.edu/news-releases/men-have-highest-risk-low-self-esteem-while-using-tinder-unt-study-finds.
Sanusi, Tayi. “Here’s What Happens When You Love Someone Who’s Emotionally Unavailable, Experts Say.” Elite Daily, 13 Sept. 2019, www.elitedaily.com/p/heres-what-happens-when-you-love-someone-whos-emotionally-unavailable-9285838.
Swami, Viren, and Adrian Furnham. “Is Love Really so Blind?” Is Love Really so Blind?” The Psychologist, Feb. 2008, thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-21/edition-2/love-really-so-blind.
