By: Julia Kramberg
Abstract
Dina Goldstein presents opposition to what is designed to be the “happily ever after” that most fairy tales endorse, through her humanizing and realistic photos, named “Fallen Princesses,” that bring into question the severity of how fairy tales can negatively affect the minds of its young readers. Difficulties such as child abandonment, child abuse, and death are themes that are traditional to fairy tales. Still, how they are discussed is done so that they are disguised to the reader and almost glamorized through happy endings and miraculous events. Professors Lori Baker-Sperry and Liz Grauerholz have researched the impact of the “happily ever after” and the reason why today’s most famous fairy tales are the most popular in their study, “The Pervasiveness and Persistence of the Feminine Beauty Ideal in Children’s Fairy Tales,” which only provides structure and affirmation to the argument of the negative impacts of stories such as Cinderella, on children. Fairy tales lack the real-life aspect that many stories should include, as they create a false reality in the minds of their readers, which only leaves them less prepared for the world they will grow up into. Messages that bolster the over-sexualization of women, condone child abuse, and dissuade interpersonal relationships are all negative for the development of young children, especially girls. Fairy tales affect their readers in the long run when they open their eyes to the real world, leaving them vulnerable, hence why they should stop being read.
Fairy tales, for centuries, have been one of the most common pieces of literature read by young children, as they present scenarios that are not only happy and enjoyable to read, but they do an excellent job of eliminating any negative plot twists that could upset readers. Today, however, only a few fairy tales have risen to the top and stayed there. These stories conclude with the “happily ever after” phenomenon, which misleads the reader into thinking that everything always works out great in the end. Where is the real-life struggle and conflict that all human beings encounter in life? Famous fairy tale scenarios such as child abandonment, child abuse, child abduction, and death are disguised with miraculous outcomes to make readers oblivious to what’s actually occurring. They present a front where the character is okay in the end or living the life that we all would want to live but doing so by completely ignoring the actual difficulty of, for instance, being abandoned by your parents. Stories such as Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty, all fall into this category, as they are three of the most famous fairy tales in the world. This begs us to ask why we read stories that are misleading and create dissolution about the real world we live in to our children? For the sake of this argument, the story of Cinderella will be discussed as it presents unrealistic endings and situations that can be damaging to the minds of young readers, leaving them in a poor position for their future endeavors. Fairy tales in general, including Cinderella, fail to highlight the struggles that the protagonist endures through their climactic conquests by simply ignoring the fact that struggle even exists or focusing the reader’s attention on the physical appearance of the character; this leaves readers, especially young girls, with distorted ideas of what it means to be female as well as false perceptions about perseverance; resulting in readers being less connected to their inner feelings and more vulnerable to the world around them.
As there are two sides to every story, there are two sides to this argument. Some people think reading fairy tales is beneficial to kids, while others believe they are harmful, but both sides agree that fairy tales are unrealistic. That agreement is pertinent as that is the only conclusion that needs to be agreed upon truly. Where the statement varies is whether or not reading unrealistic stories is bad for children. One artist that has brought light upon this argument, sharing her side artistically and uniquely, is Dina Goldstein. In Goldstein’s piece “Fallen Princesses,” a collection of photographs staged to show the struggle that would actually occur in the top nine most famous fairy tales, she brings to light the reality that is missing from these stories by exploiting true struggle. Each photo shows the classic princess in the outfit she is most known for wearing, but instead of living her “happily ever after,” the struggles that she would most probably be enduring in the story are shown if the authors had included it. For instance, Cinderella is seen in her photo sitting at a table at a rundown bar, wearing her gown, looking down at her glass full of what can be assumed to be some sort of hard alcohol, while eyes surround her from all over, as she pays no mind to them. This photo itself shows the real-life emotion and response to what Cinderella is going through in her life, as this side of the story is never told.
For those who are not familiar with the story of Cinderella, she is a young girl who is a victim of child abuse, as she must live in the corner of the kitchen by the hearth and succumb to any demand from her evil step-sisters and step-mother. In The Brothers Grimm version, it states,
“From morning until night she had to work hard. Every day, she got up before daybreak to carry water, start the fire, cook, and wash. On top of that the two sisters did everything imaginable to make her life miserable. They ridiculed her and threw peas and lentils into the ashes so that she would have to get down andpick them out” (Grimm 148).
Cinderella was a victim of child abuse and endured real trauma that is never discussed in the story. Cinderella’s life changes when she hears about a ball where a prince is looking for his potential princess. Cinderella pleads to go, but of course, her family will not allow it, so to her luck, a fairy godmother (depending on the rendition, sometimes a tree) comes to her saving and dresses her in beautiful gowns on multiple occasions. Ultimately Cinderella loses a slipper which is how the Prince, who falls in love with her instantly, finds her, as she is the only one whom the shoe will fit. Cinderella ends up living happily ever after, but the lengths she had to go to get there are seemingly impossible from a real-life perspective. Cinderella lived a horrid life until she finds her Prince, but evidently, the entire time until that moment, she keeps her composure and just “gets through it.” This is only one of many fairy tales that lacks truth to what the situation would really look like, as one is left to ask how Cinderella is okay? Should everyone just “get through it,” and they will live happily ever after? This is a damaging message to young readers, as the answer is no. No one should just “get through it,” as child abuse is not easy to work through. This is where Goldstein presents an impressive alternative to the narrative with her photo, where one can say, “I can’t blame Cinderella resorting to drinking as I can’t imagine what she was going through.” People resort to different types of things like drinking, drugs, and therapy when looking for a way to cope with intense hardship. Not to say that Cinderella drinking was an excellent way to cope or the right message to be sending, but Goldstein’s photo at least presents a more relatable story than that of Grimm’s. Goldstein wants to show the other side of the story and say, “Hey, life isn’t always easy, just look at these princesses they went through struggle as well.”
So why don’t fairy tales show emotion and real-life struggle? Liz Grauerholz and Lori Baker-Sperry, two professors at Purdue University, wanted to put this question to the test. They decided to compare fairy tales that are most known today, such as Cinderella, to stories that almost no one knows today. Stories that were once popular but lost touch over time, but why did they fade into the darkness? When comparing these two categories of stories, they found that stories like Cinderella, which focus heavily on the physical beauty and looks of the protagonist, were ones that are at the top of the list for most known, where stories that shared a more true human-like experience where the protagonist endured struggle and hardship, were stories that virtually no one has heard of today. They measured how many times beauty or physical appearance was mentioned in both types of stories and found that stories such as Cinderella mentioned physical appearance 94% more than stories that focused on actual life events. The fixation with how a woman looks seemingly is more appealing to readers than that of reality. They found that female protagonists tend to be identified by their looks far more than male protagonists and young female characters tend to be discussed by physical appearance more than older female characters (Baker-Sperry). So what is the obsession with young female beauty standards? Does it sell more copies, so authors are more inclined to write about it? This discovery leads to the more extensive discussion at hand, the impact stories like this have on young readers, especially girls.
Fairy tales are a child’s first impression of the world around them. Although they are fictional, they are about humans and human activities, so why would children not perceive them as truthful? Not only do fairy tales lack truthfulness about what being human means, on top of that, it’s clear they over-sexualize and obsess upon the female body, leaving girls extremely disoriented on what they should and should not believe. Amanda Schnibben wrote her final thesis for Antioch University – Santa Barbara on this topic and stated the following,
“Results of the study demonstrated that some of the female participants identified with fairy-tales during their youth; however, all participants indicated that real life is far more challenging when contrasted with typical Western fairy-tale stories that often portray an easeful outcome to engagement in a romantic relationship. Common themes that emerged throughout this study were those of status, external factors such as appealing fashions and coiffed hair, familial upbringing and witnessing the parental relationship” (Schnibben).
As Schnibben writes, fairy tales mislead readers into believing that they should look a certain way or act another way, as they think that is how they should be according to stories like Cinderella. These stories teach girls that they should only say so much or share certain emotions because that is all they are valued for. Truly feeling sad or needing help isn’t shared in these stories because it isn’t perceived as the “ideal beauty standard.” A girl is beautiful when she sits there, looks pretty, and doesn’t open her mouth. The fixation on the female body values women for that alone, their body, which is a message that no young girl should read. Fairy tales also tend to focus a lot on the ultimate goal for women being marriage or having children, leaving no room for other goals. There isn’t a fairy tale that discusses a protagonist rebelling against this stereotype, but instead, it is a pattern seen in stories time and time again.
The romanization of the most challenging endeavors a person can go through is offensive and invalidates a person’s struggle when they are going through it. It’s damaging to a young brain to think that if faced with a situation such as child abuse or abandonment, they need to persevere just how their favorite role model princess did because they ended up fine in the end. Brandie Crane, a student in the master’s program at Louisiana Tech University, phrased this idea quite well when she wrote,
” “All Fur,” “Cinderella,” “Snow White,” “The Juniper Tree,” and “Hansel and Gretel” create the idea that parents are sometimes a disappointment and that children should embrace independence and be equipped to handle isolation and abandonment. In reality, disappointing parents sometimes breed disappointing children, but in fairy tales poor parenting gives the child power over their own lives and the tools to overcome adversity, passing this power to the reader, as well, be they child or adult, and a plethora of lessons can be learned by both parent and child in the aftermath of these stories” (Crane).
For instance, child abandonment is a horrible thing that sadly occurs in the real world. It yields struggle and hardship to come for that child in their life, but fairy tales almost romanticize it. “You’re free from your parents, so now you’ll just work it out on your own because that’s what the princesses did,” this is a highly damaging message and leaves girls especially with skewed ideas of who they should be. No child is rejoiced to be left alone and in no way can successfully take care of themselves on their own at a young age. This is yet another false message spread by fairy tales as well as a disheartening one.
As mentioned before, there are two sides to every story, as there are people who think fairy tales are not, in fact, damaging but good. From research done, many people believe fairy tales shield children from the darkness of our world by staging events that aren’t real because it keeps kids happy. Dr. Dheerendra Prakash Mishra and Vishakha Shekhawat are professors at MVGU in Jaipur, India. They believe that fairy tales have a positive impact on the physiological development of children as they state, “With the positive outcome of their stories, fairy tales help in appeasing the fears experienced at various developmental stages, in reassuring that the unknown can become known and contribute to the establishment of a wider, positive perspective about life, while answering a child’s deep need for justice” (Shekhawat). This view that Dr. Mishra and Shekhawat present is precisely the problem. They highlight that most fairy tales ending with a “happily ever after” is good as it reassures its readers that everything will be okay in the end. Although this is a lovely message to be sending and, yes, can be a probable outcome in many situations, it’s sadly not always the way things turn out. Sometimes struggle needs to happen to get to a better place, and that struggle can be ongoing. People who view fairy tales as positive for young readers want to shield children from the actual world, which is only harmful to their development. It leaves kids at a huge disadvantage when they encounter hardship, as everyone does, leaving them unprepared for it. The earlier you prepare your child for what’s to come when they get older, the better prepared they will be for it.
Struggle is something that is built into our society. If everything were easy and went how we wanted it to go, the world would be broken. People wouldn’t learn necessary traits of perseverance and will of strength without struggle because no one would have to work for anything. For instance, as a female, the struggle one encounters in wanting to start their own business is immensely more difficult than for a man. Sadly, just being a girl puts you at a disadvantage, as that is how our society has structured itself. Reading fairy tales will misconstrue readers’ minds into thinking that everything works out when that isn’t the case. People fall, people deal with challenges, people get back up, but knowing that all that occurs, as it is the standard way humans develop, is vital. A story such as Cinderella that doesn’t show how Cinderella learned to cope with her struggles or overcome them is useless. Goldstein puts a more comical twist on this idea through her photos, but she at least shows that Cinderella is a real person. No one is perfect, and sometimes you just need to have a drink. I mean, after all, that Cinderella must deal with, I don’t know who could blame her. Vanessa Loder, a writer for the HuffPost, coined a phrase that all should use, “Snow White lived with her prince at the castle, sometimes they were happy, sometimes they were sad, sometimes they were angry, scared, silly or grateful” (Loder). That phrase sounds a lot better than “Snow White lived happily ever after” because I’m sure she didn’t. The reader doesn’t learn what happens to Snow White after the story, but in the real world, when people get married, it’s not always happy; sometimes it leads to divorce, it’s never “happily ever after.” Learning this message at a young age is very valuable and will create a more worldly individual.
Fairy tales are integrated into our society as a pillar in a child’s developing mind. Everyone can recall the story of Cinderella or Snow White, but they don’t realize the negative impact those stories had on them until they are old enough to face the real world. Girls especially are subject to listen to stories that obsess upon the female body and what it should mean to be female, as all other aspects of life are seemingly unimportant here. Teaching children about the reality of the world we live in, in moderation, of course, is only going to benefit them in the long run and avoid the pain many people encounter when they realize that life isn’t always so perfect the way the Cinderella story said it would be. If fairy tales are to be read, they should be read by adults who are old enough to know that what is being said is false, not the youngest people of our society who are entirely ignorant to that fact. Fairy tales have been harming the minds of youth for far too long, endorsing that difficulty is nonexistent, creating false realities in the minds of young children, and damaging their developing minds.
Works Cited
Baker-Sperry, Lori, and Liz Grauerholz. “The Pervasiveness and Persistence of the Feminine Beauty Ideal in Children’s Fairy Tales.” JSTOR, Sage Publications, Oct. 2003, www.jstor.org/stable/3594706.
Crain, Brandie. “Finding Our ‘Happily Ever After’: How Poor FairyTale Parenting Breeds a Better Child.” Digital Commons, 17 Nov. 2018, digitalcommons.latech.edu/theses.
Goldstein, D. (2007-2009). CINDER [Photograph]. Fallen Princesses.
Grimm, The Brothers. The Classic Fairy Tales: Texts, Criticism. W.W. Norton & Company, 2017.
Jorgensen, Jeana. “The Most Beautiful of All: A Quantitative Approach to Fairy-Tale Femininity.” JSTOR, University of Illinois Press, 2019, www.jstor.org/stable/10.5406/jamerfolk.132.523.0036.
Loder, Vanessa. “Why Fairy Tales Are Bad For Our Kids.” HuffPost, Huffington Post, 24 Feb. 2015, www.huffpost.com/entry/why-fairy-tales-are-bad-for-our-kids_b_6736634.
Schnibben, Amanda. “Enchanted: A Qualitative Examination of Fairy Tales and Women ‘s Intimate Relational Patterns.” Clinical Psychology Commons, Antioch University, May 2014, aura.antioch.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1134&context=etds.
Shekhawat, Vishakha, and Dheerendra Prakash Mishra. “Psychological Impact of Fairy Tales on the Mind of Children.” Gnited Minds Journals, Journal of Advances and Scholarly Researches in Allied Education, Jan. 2018, ignited.in/p/130330.
Tesar, Marek, et al. “Forever Young: Childhoods, Fairy Tales and Philosophy.” Sage Journals, Sage Journals, 15 May 2016, journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2043610616647642.
