By Rachel Meilak
Introduction
COVID-19 has completely changed our reality, and the current world is unrecognizable. One of the largest problems that my family and I have personally faced is dealing with childcare. My brothers both have children, and they and their wives work full-time. One of my brothers is a pediatrician; luckily, he has been able to live at home despite working in a hospital, and his wife is a teacher, so was able to spend time with their 1-year-old son during her summer vacation when the pandemic first hit and daycares shut down. My other brother and his wife, however, work full-time on the phones for a broker, and the pandemic did not change that. They were forced to give their 18-month-old daughter to her grandparents for a few months, a transition that was traumatic due to the unknown duration and the physical distance between them: my brother lives in Nebraska, his in-laws live in Colorado.
Watching my brothers struggle with childcare, and personally stepping in as a nanny for a close family friend because of childcare issues, I realized how many people were being affected in this way during the pandemic. After reading tales such as “Hansel and Gretel” and “Rapunzel” that feature child abandonment and isolation, I was immediately drawn to the idea of using these stories to analyze and cope with the current situation because fairy tales offer hope when reality seems bleak, and we desperately need hope during this time. Whether your family has personally dealt with the problems of finding childcare during this time or if you know someone who has, almost everyone can relate to the anxiety it causes. People may be experiencing wish fatigue, but fairy tales remind us that wishing is never a waste of time. There is always the possibility of a “happy ending,” and these tales provide hope that the current generation of children will survive this pandemic with new resolve and maturity, rather than trauma, as many parents fear.
Fairy Tales and the Pandemic
The year 2020 has been anything but a fairy tale. It began with fires that devastated Australia, but that event was quickly overshadowed by the spread of COVID-19, a disease that single-handedly changed lives across the world. Businesses shut down, Zoom University became the only option for higher-education, and masks appeared as the new (mandatory) fashion trend. Add one of the most divisive U.S. presidential elections in recent history and the unearthing of persisting blatant racism, and you get what 2020 has become: a year filled with fear, tension, and hopelessness. How could this be anything like a fairy tale?
Fairy tales are full of princesses, princes, and happy endings. The Disney store beckons, walls overflowing with sparkling dresses and accessories. That is a fairy tale. There is no extensive violence, no uncertainty threatening to drive the characters to insanity. Or is there? Disney sanitized tales into forms often unrecognizable from their oral counterparts, but these versions are the ones most people are familiar with. Disney removed much of the blood and gore in “Cinderella,” such as when her stepsisters cut off parts of their feet in order to fit into the glass slipper, and rejected versions of “Snow White” that depict the prince as a necrophiliac or force the evil queen to dance in red-hot shoes until she dies at Snow White’s wedding. These details were deemed “unfit” for children, so they did not make the final cut for Disney’s renditions.
Disney’s intentions may have been rooted in a place of genuine concern towards preserving the innocence of children, but the current state of the world demands the true nature of these tales. Our reality is grim, so while oversaturated films where the biggest problems are jealousy or extra chores provide escapism, we cannot relate to their eventual happy ending. It is not unacceptable to dress up in a sparkly blue dress, don a blonde wig, and imagine a fairy godmother who will magically appear and grant our wishes; it is a mistake, however, to gloss over the true trauma in the story. We need to be reminded of the horrible occurrences in fairy tales because they reinstate hope. If fairy tale characters can endure vengeful fairies, poisoned apples, or wolves with an appetite for young girls, we can surely face our reality.
That reality, however, can be daunting. As COVID-19 became more of a threat, normal societal behaviors were placed on hold as people sheltered at home, terrified to go outside. Social interactions became a thing of the past, and everyone put on their armor in the shape of a face mask. Forget the knight in shining armor. He can no longer save us. Life suddenly seemed to mirror a dystopian film or novel and a sense of detachment arose. Going to the grocery store became an act of bravery. Will there be toilet paper today? Will it be worth the risk? Working parents, however, faced one of the most pressing problems: how to work and still take care of their children, without being forced to abandon them.
My brother and his wife abandoned their child. How could they do this to my sweet, cherub-faced niece? They did not leave her on the streets and had every intention of retrieving her, but the pandemic created circumstances where they could no longer take care of her. As COVID-19 became a more dire issue, my brother and his wife faced a terrifying prospect: their 18-month-old daughter could no longer go to daycare, and they both work full-time. With technology being what it is, a pandemic did not dispose of these responsibilities, but rather increased them; their workspace was now their home. Throw in three dogs, and there was no way to ensure that everyone had their needs met. Hectic was an understatement. One of them quitting their job was not an option because they had only just begun to make ends meet. Although daycare added an expense, it was still better financially than having a stay-at-home parent. The irony of this situation is evident; we work to pay for people to watch our children while we work.
With this fear looming down, they realized that they had to find a place for their daughter to go, even if that meant being separated from her for an extended period. This decision was not easy, but necessary given the ever-spreading pandemic. My sister-in-laws’ parents offered to take care of my niece for however long was needed, but they live in Colorado. My brother and his family live in Nebraska. Although this situation was not the typical case of abandonment, because both of her parents wanted to stay with her and she was going to a place where she would be loved, my niece was still forced to live away from her parents for a few months. She was also at an age when children are completely reliant upon and attached to their parents, making it more traumatic for all involved.
“Why are you crying?” I ask my mother. “She’s going to be damaged, I just know it,” my mother replies, as she calls my other brother, the pediatrician, for his opinion.
This decision, however, was a privilege in itself, despite the pain it caused their family. Many parents faced similar situations as cities imposed COVID-19 restrictions, especially those who belonged to the lower working class. They did not have the privilege of taking time off from work in order to care for their children because their jobs pay the bills and put food on the table. Daycare facilities and schools were relied on to provide childcare, but these services were taken away in a matter of days, and people scrambled to find alternatives. Where was the benevolent King to take care of his subjects? Is he just a figment of imagination?
Other families did not have the same support system as my brother and his family, had multiple children, or had essential jobs that took them out of the home. Working parents everywhere had to find ways to ensure that their children were safe, healthy, and still getting some semblance of an education, while also trying to pay the bills. Those who did not physically abandon their children emotionally abandoned them, leaving them unsupervised for most of the day while they worked. Zoom meetings are not conducive to parenting. Your boss can still see you.
This situation would not be out of place if written in a children’s story. It would be set in a different time period of course, “many years ago” or “once upon a time,” but the main components would still be there: fear, uncertainty, abandonment. Although the childhood abandonment instigated by a global pandemic may seem as far removed from a fairy tale as possible, one of the most common characteristics of any fairy tale is the departure of a character from the home, whether that be through death or a journey. Vladimir Propp sought to define this aspect, placing it as the first function in his list of thirty-one: absentation. Whether a parent dies or the hero departs on a quest, someone leaves the safety of home, venturing into the unknown. It is only through the trials and tribulations faced on their journey or in their grieving process, however, that the hero is able to achieve their happy ending.
We see this separation not just through children who are forced to leave their homes and live with others, but with parents who cannot come home for fear of infecting their children. Yes, the pandemic is real. Yes, it affects real people. Health-care workers must not only leave their children during the day, but many are unable to return home during this time. They live in pop-up campers in parking lots or hotel-like rooms provided by the hospital, apart from their spouses and children for months on end (Ellis). As the pandemic continues to drag on, they are forced to lengthen this period of separation indefinitely. Their isolation has no expiration date.
“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!” (Grimm, 125). Who needs a tower when you have a parking lot camper?
There is no amount of hair that will fix their predicament. There is no selfish witch keeping healthcare workers from their friends and families. They will not be rescued by a charming prince. Their captor is not tangible, and they must rely on society as a whole to take the necessary precautions to limit the spread of the virus so that they can soon return home to their families. Individual initiative helps, but only collective cooperation will halt this villain.
As the pandemic drags on, we must ask ourselves whether the idealized concept of a “happily ever after” will play out in reality, or whether our fragmented society is beyond repair. Is this cliché another Disney ploy? Buy into a happy ending while buying turkey legs in front of Sleeping Beauty’s Castle? Or is the idealized conclusion no longer confined to the pages of storybooks?
We can actually turn to classic fairy tales to help us answer these questions because of the similar circumstances threaded throughout many tales, such as “Hansel and Gretel.” This story is widely recognized as one of the quintessential fairy tales; people are familiar with the basic plot, even if they have not read it since childhood. Who could forget a gingerbread house? Writers have reimagined the tale throughout time, adapting it to fit more modern settings. The classic version, however, contains themes that align to our current situation in startlingly similar ways.
Hansel and Gretel are two children who are abandoned in the woods by their parents during a time of poverty and forced to face the elements. They are able to find their way back once in most iterations of the tale, but eventually succumb to their parent’s deception. After accepting their inevitable fate, their wanderings eventually lead them to a gingerbread house, where they eat their fill, only to learn that it belongs to a cannibalistic witch. A sugar crash is no longer their biggest problem. Luckily for them, they use cunning and trickery to escape, captivating all who hear their story by the fantastic image of an edible house and their ingenuity.
The tale has roots in the famine that devastated Europe during the 1300s; during this time, parents actually abandoned their children in forests or churches because they could no longer afford to feed them (Campbell, 0:57-1:05). Hansel and Gretel’s parents’ decision to leave their children reflects this time period because they are motivated by their financial insecurity and hunger. Their mother berates her husband, claiming that if they do not abandon their children, “[t]hen all four of [them] will end up starving to death. [He] might as well start sawing the boards for [their] coffins” (Tatar, 236). Hansel and Gretel are abandoned because of their family’s intense hunger and the way it affects each family member. There are no motherly tendencies. The mother reverts to base, primal instincts, saving herself without thinking of her children. She is willing to coerce her husband into giving up the children in order to save herself. It is never the man’s fault, after all. He would have been innocent if not for his wicked wife. No matter who receives the blame, we see the strain that financial difficulties can put on a family, a concept that is being echoed by the current state of the world.
Hansel and Gretel’s parents ignore the needs of their children in order to fulfill their own needs, but the motivating financial insecurity and resulting hunger resonates with parents during the pandemic. Grocery stores initially became barren as people flocked to stock up on what they deemed as necessities. Goodbye toilet paper, goodbye flour. Everyone became a baker during quarantine.
When food disappeared from shelves, more pressure was put on parents to provide security for their children, despite the struggles they were already facing. There was also a new fear of going hungry; families that usually did not have to worry about food faced new difficulties. Food became a main focus and induced stress, a trend similar to the famines that inspired “Hansel and Gretel.”
Food scarcity and financial anxiety change people’s priorities because they have a large impact on one’s overall lifestyle, something many are loath to give up or alter. The word “hangry” was coined for a reason. As Bruno Bettelheim notes, “poverty and deprivation do not improve man’s character, but rather make him more selfish, less sensitive to the suffering of others, and thus prone to embark on evil deeds” (159). Leaving a child unsupervised because you have to work does not constitute an evil deed, but it does show a lack of attention that normally would not occur to the same extent. Parents place great emphasis on taking care of their children, but when other, more base anxieties arise towards food or money, the latter takes precedence.
We also see a similarity in the struggles the children face once the parents abandon them. Modern children are not given to a cannibalistic witch, but there is still an element of danger. Giving a child to someone else, even if there are no other viable options, puts both the child and caregiver at risk. There is no way to ensure that the mere transfer of the child will not cause someone to become sick, nor is there a way to ensure that the other people are following the protocols you have set for yourself and your family. Every decision is laced with anxiety. The witch poses a threat because of her cannibalistic tendencies, but COVID-19 has made everyone a threat. This disease is a silent and stealthy killer. It is more terrifying than a villain in a fairy tale because it cannot be seen or easily identified in most cases. There is no dragon to slay or witch to escape, only the crippling fear of the unknown.
The relationship between “Hansel and Gretel” and the current reality has never been more important. Parents may balk at the idea of giving their child up, even if it is to a close family friend, but this tale provides some comfort because the children end up victorious. A happy ending, despite the trauma. The witch poses a threat to the children, but they use their wit to escape her clutches, a parallel we can hopefully identify as time passes during the pandemic. From Hansel’s idea to convince the witch that he is not yet fat enough to eat by “stick[ing] a little bone out,” to Gretel’s insistence that the witch must show her how to climb into the oven, both children demonstrate a level of cunning in order to secure their escape (Tatar, 240).
Their ingenuity allows them to secure their future. The children of today must also demonstrate a similar adaptability in order to persist despite their adverse circumstances. While there is no expectation that an 18-month-old child like my niece will be able to escape COVID-19, or discover a way to create a vaccine that allows society to resume normal activities in some capacity, there is hope that their resourcefulness will allow them to overcome the hurdles they are facing in some of the most formative years of their lives. They will not be damaged by the decisions their parents are forced to make, but will persevere to reach their “happily ever after” eventually.
Hansel and Gretel only return home after crossing a stream, a detail of great significance. This trek signals their transcendence past childhood and complete dependence—if only puberty was this easy. Before they met the witch, they were dependent on their parents and each other. By crossing the stream one at a time, they undergo a “transition, and a new beginning on a higher level of existence…[and] arrive at the other shore as more mature children, ready to rely on their own intelligence and initiative to solve life’s problems” (Bettelheim, 164). Their period of separation from their parents allows them to transition into more developed beings. It does not traumatize them, but rather is an essential aspect of their maturation.
The idea that the eventual transcendence of Hansel and Gretel can be applied to our current situation highlights the wish many of us have that the trauma we are experiencing will be fruitful in some regard. The pandemic has altered our way of life fundamentally, and many feel powerless or out of control, so wishing for something better is natural. Wish fulfillment is a concept also popular in fairy tales; Cinderella wishes to go to the ball, and her fairy godmother provides—just get back before midnight, the ever important caveat. In the past months, however, modern society is experiencing a new phenomenon: wish fatigue.
At the start of the pandemic, wishing was all we did. We wished for things to return to the way they were pre-pandemic, at least in regards to face masks and social distancing. We wished to be reunited with friends and family in person instead of over a computer screen, and we wished for the things we once took for granted. As the months dragged on, however, our wishes became less frequent; this new way of life seems permanent and inescapable. Many, including my own family, began experiencing wish fatigue. Wishing seemed futile. Nothing was changing, so what was the point?
The extent of the wish fatigue we are experiencing now is unprecedented. It may seem pointless to read a fairy tale because of the lack of hope towards a possible happy ending, but this situation is what makes engaging with fairy tales even more important. They are not just a promise that things will get better, but a reminder always to wish for better things, even when they seem impossible. Remember Hansel and Gretel? The two children who were able to outsmart a cannibalistic witch and find their way back home through a forest? Nothing is impossible. The drastic conditions in fairy tales surpass even our grim reality, yet these characters do not give up their hope even after many years of suffering. We have suffered for less than a year, although it admittedly feels much longer. We cannot give in to the wish fatigue plaguing us because, in doing so, we forfeit our happy ending.
Fairy tales, such as “Hansel and Gretel,” do not provide a realistic reflection of the events occurring in the world, but they do provide a road map that allows us to understand how we can cope when presented with new horrors. A cannibalistic witch is a magical and purely fictional creature. A global pandemic that completely changes society, however, was also once unimaginable. Fairy tales allow us to understand that life will present unforeseen challenges, but that falling into despair will not solve anything. As daycare facilities remain closed, or even as they begin to open back up, parents will continue to be faced with the prospect of giving their child up for a time in order to provide for them in the future, or sending them to a place that could potentially expose them to the virus. Each family must make that decision based on their individual circumstances and situations, but it is important to think back to fairy tales that describe this type of abandonment, and the ultimate transcendence of the child into a grounded and content adult.
We desperately need hope in this time, and fairy tales provide it. No longer tales reserved solely for children, these simple yet profound stories allow us to perceive the world around us in a new way and gain insight into how best to navigate the rocky road ahead. We must believe future generations will persevere, and we must believe that wishing for better times is not a foolish endeavor. Without this belief, we will descend further into the chaos around us. We must fight the fatigue we feel and trust that society will overcome this adversity. We will get through this pandemic, and all it entails, with a little help from Hansel, Gretel, and our other friends who have already faced the unimaginable and returned unscathed and triumphant.
______________________________________________________
Works Cited
Bettelheim, Bruno. The Uses of Enchantment. Vintage Books, 1989.
Campbell, Jen, director. The True History of Hansel and Gretel, YouTube, 24 July 2018, www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VQ6xchEAQY.
Ellis, Emma Grey. “How Health Care Workers Avoid Bringing Covid-19 Home.” Wired, Conde Nast, 14 Apr. 2020, 8:00 am, www.wired.com/story/coronavirus-covid-19-health-care-workers-families/.
Grimm, Jacob, and Wilhelm Grimm. Grimm’s Fairy Tales. Grosset & Dunlap, 1963.
Tatar, Maria, editor. The Classic Fairy Tales: Texts, Criticism. 2nd ed., W.W. Norton & Company, 2017.
